A nap is defined as sleeping a short period of time. This is usually done to break up the day, and catch up on rest. So what do you call when you wake up for about ten to twenty minutes in the middle of the night for no reason? Is it the reverse nap? Cause I'm reverse napping right now.
Odds are I will remember there really is a word for this tomorrow when my brain is fully functioning.
Most people know Alyssa Milano from her days on Who's The Boss? Some might know that she is also a musician. (This blog entry's title comes from one of her songs.) She even has a blog covering her love of baseball, where she recently quoted Gandhi. Too bad she is a Dodger fan.
Well, I recently read that Alyssa has been named the ambassador for Global Network for Neglected Tropical Diseases? This raises so many questions in my head. Does not bringing attention to the neglected tropical diseases make them non-neglected? Would this not create a vicious circle where the current non-neglected tropical disease would then become the neglected ones that would need Alyssa's assistance to bring them to the world's attention? And by getting a former child star to be your ambassador does that help keep the neglected status intact?
Why did I devote a whole post to Alyssa? I did it to set up one of my favorite jokes. What are my favorite kind of cookies? Alyssa Milano Cookies. (Follow that link to the question about what her fan's don't know about her) If you do not get the joke, this might help.
During my surfing time last night, I came across a Yahoo page about the Annual Assembly About Aliens. I did not have to read too far until the flashbacks began. Do not worry, it is not that I was having flashbacks to a time I was abducted by aliens. Instead it is when I spent some time living in a foreign land known as Northwest Arkansas. During my senior year of college, I traveled up to Eureka Springs for an Easter celebration with my family. While we were there, the annual Ozark UFO Conference was going on. Being the curious one that I am, I decided to take some time and check it out. I was not too sure what to expect, although I had some ideas based on my viewing of the X-files. Interestingly there were people of all walks of life. There was not one specific "type" of person there.
I will tell you that I decided it was time to leave when I overheard a conversation which involved the thickness of the door of a spacecraft and what some of the aliens looked like. As curious as I might have been to see the video about the woman who gave birth to an alien halfbreed, I bolted to the door.
While I'm on the topic of aliens, space and entertainment, can you name the coolest person to ever pick up a lightsaber? While many of you might claim it is Samuel L. Jackson, I disagree. Here lies the answer.
I think I am becoming nocturnal. For more than a week, I have been getting very little sleep at night, and just a little more during the day. I am not sure why exactly, but I am hoping that at least it might help me adjust to the European time zone I'll be landing in this weekend.
Tonight during my sleeplessness, I have cleaned my entire bathroom. This would be a bigger task if it were not the size of many bathrooms found on recreational vehicles. I also created a new set of photos on my Flickr pages.
I figure this would be a good time to give you a few fun links I have come across lately. I bet you all missed the Swiss invasion of Lichtenstein. As I'll be in the area soon, if anyone would like to join me for a follow up invasion, email me!
It started as a joke. While riding around in Bangalore, I had noticed mustaches on many billboards and posters, as well as in real life. So I turned to one of the other leaders and said we should name March the Mustache Month. We would encourage all to join us in growing them. It would be a celebration. And I am pretty sure I wasn't serious about the concept.
But then we came across what could be one of the coolest 'staches I have personally seen.
The momentum of that mustache was monstrous, and the joke became a reality. Thus, we have declared March Mustache Celebration Month. So if you can grow it, show it! I was shocked and comforted to find out that we were not alone.
I leave you with a photo of three cool guys sporting mustaches for inspiration for your own. So join us in the celebration!
The calendar tells me it is time for another post for Valentine's Day, or Single Awareness Day as it is known in some parts. As February begins, I'm reminded of a few patterns in my routine regarding this holiday. The most recent one of those has been to link back to the classic lyrics I co-wrote back during my camp days. Which was far better than last year's attempt at creativity. But enough self linking, at least for now.
I told my students last night of another common pattern I once had around this Hallmark holiday. While I'm not proud of it, that pattern was to break up with a girl with in a couple days before or after Valentine's Day. I think this could be part of the reason I'm currently cursed to wander this earth alone. At least my solitary wandering isn't combined with being a zombie, as that would just stink. After much thought, I don't think I could gain an appreciation for the taste of brains. Plus I hear it is really tough to get a job as a zombie. But on the flip side, it would be cool to have Dolores O'Riordan sing about me. Wait a minute, that has been done. Now what was I talking about? Zombies, I mean Valentine's Day.
So here is my random thought for today. Why is it that Saint Valentine is the patron saint for lovers, bee keepers, and the plague?
I am so childish sometimes. Today at church I thought one of the fun things about Christmas is being able to use the word "ass" in church. The best part is that it was used in not just one, but two songs this morning. Like I said, sometimes I can be childish.
Speaking of being childish, I had a good laugh on the plane the other day. The flight from Norita to Chicago was having some difficulties with their entertainment system. At first it was just audio. While they were trying to fix it, they began flipping the video channels between the various movies. Unfortunately, they stopped on a shower scene from some movie. Total nakedness for all the passengers to see. (Well, not everyone, as the little kid two seats over was still crying because he couldn't see over the seat in front of him.) But for a minute or so everyone got an anatomy lesson. Very soon after that Christmas music began pouring out of the overhead speaker system. It was followed by an announcement that the system was now fixed. My friend sitting next to me said something about "Christmas music and porn," and the laughter began. Interestingly enough, this makes the second year in a row where adult oriented material has been on open display on my flights at Christmas.
I usually have some time to kill in the office during the weekends. Often I find myself surfing around the web to find interesting and strange stories to share with others. This weekend, in my clicking I found something I could not help but question. I guess Benny Hinn is in desperate need of a private jet to help him spread the gospel. In fact he is in such a need, they have already taken possession of the plane. Unfortunately, they didn't have the money to purchase it yet. So he just needs 6000 people to donate $1000 to help with the DOWN PAYMENT.
Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the spreading of the true Gospel. (Although there is some question in terms of Mr. Hinn's version) In fact, I have been involved in that line of work for years, AND I FLY COACH! Sure, my work has basically been in one location, with only the need to fly about once a year for work projects. But again, I fly coach. During the years when I had to travel across America speaking at churches, I drove from place to place. There was no multi-million dollar plane to whisk me to the next church.
I wonder if Benny knows how many economy tickets he could buy with that $6,000,000 down payment? My rough guess says around 5500 to 6000 international tickets. If these are the last days as he claims, I don't see him needing that many, even if he takes some friends along.
Or you could provide me with a private jet so I don't have to wait in lines or have to continue to be profiled in my travels. Plus how am I expected to visit all the applicants from around the world?
I have discovered there is an exciting feeling about walking up to a bank teller and sliding a piece of paper requesting a few million to be withdrawn from your account. Even better is when she does it without flinching. She asked me if I wanted it in cash or check. As I would be walking across town to another bank, I decided check, although I was really tempted with the feeling of walking out of the bank with a stash of bills. A few hours later, I got to enjoy dropping a few million on the desk when the teller asked me how much I wanted to transfer. Yeah kids, I'm a high roller. Before you start sending me requests for charity, remember I live in a country where a bag of chips costs a thousand.
Last night, I had dinner with some friends to celebrate the upcoming birthday of this guy. Two of us then went to see The Prestige. I'm telling you this has to be one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. I highly recommend, and that is all I am going to say about this film.
Speaking of entertainment. I discovered a good sign you have been living overseas too long is when you get excited that Who's The Boss is on television. And speaking of Who's the Boss, do you what my favorite kind of cookies are?
So last night I took a walk over to the local batting cages. On the way I saw a shooting star fly over campus. For a brief period of time all the lights of this city did not compare to a piece of rock burning up overhead. As I walked on several thoughts went through my head. I wondered how many others even saw it. I thought of my friend who claimed they have never seen one. I made a childish wish that I doubt will come true. I even began to compile a list of my favorite shooting stars I've witnessed.
As I arrived at the cages, there were seven college students in various stages of inebriation cheering on their friend in one cage. I stepped into the open cage, dropped the coinage in the slot, and grabbed the bat. As I started connecting batt to ball, the two guys in the cage next to me stopped and watched, as did the rest of their posse. They began to gasp, cheer, and yell out things like, "home run," "very good," "teach me," and "McGwire." (Funny thing is that my students in the states used to call me McGuire.) When my turn ran out, I turned to see three girls' faces pressed up against the fence, chanting "go again." I dropped another coin in, and put on another show. Sometimes a guy just needs a little boost to the ego.
The news is reporting that North Korea has tested their nukes today. According to the report, it created a tremor that has been confirmed. So I decided to see where this actually happened, so I checked out the USGS Earthquake Hazards Program. This is where I got this map, to show my family and fans how close I am.
For those who have not been keeping score at home, I am in Taejon. The little orange box is where the man with the crazy hair decided to flex his muscles today. I feel the need to go change my tin foil hat to lead based.
I've heard it said, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Well, if Amazon recommends lemons, make fun of it.
While I'm posting random stuff, a friend asked for a more personal update. So here are some random thoughts and items that you may or may not care about.
1. There once were several fish that had my attention, but now only one remains. I guess I might be responsible for most of them passing on, but one did commit suicide. I found it five feet from the bowl. Guess it did not consider the all the costs of trying to get away. 2. I need to improve my Connect Four game. 3. My year old passport already needs new pages added soon. This makes me happy. 4. Proverbs 30:18-19 gives me comfort, yet some despair. 5. I have come to understand if I were to write too personal of a post, I might either hurt or offend someone, scare others, or just leave too much of myself exposed for my own good. Often I think some of the events of my life are too funny, ironic, or just bazaar that I should share with the public. Yet, upon further thought, at least while I'm in such a small bubble, it is best to keep it vague and obscure. So if you really want to know more about my life, email me, call me, or invite me over to hang out. That includes you Dave!
I grew up in the Pumpkin Capital of the World. Every year as a child I waited with baited breath for the annual Pumpkin Festival, held the second week of September. As an elementary student I would marvel as they allowed carnies to assemble rides on our playground. Sure, it meant no kickball for a week, but the joy of the Scrambler and Tilt-O-Whirl far outweighed the costs.
Now you would think that anticipation of the festival would die with age. No, I tell you, it does not. For just today I got an email from my father which read...
A few chairs appeared near Mississippi and Jefferson late MONDAY morning; by 9 o'clock MONDAY NIGHT they are beginning to spread toward downtown. Don't fear--don't shed a tear---I shall surrender and be out Tuesday morning.
I do not know if this happens in other towns, but residents of Morton place chairs out along the parade route days in advance to mark their terrority in a socially acceptable way. When I was in college, it was usually a day or two before the parade, but now it is almost six days before the first Shriner climbs into his tiny little car.
It makes me wonder if there will come a time when people will just leave their chairs out year round. But I guess you got to do what you got to do to get the best candy grabbing locations.
And to my readers in Morton, good luck getting a spot. Let me know if there are choice spots left.
Part of the festival I will miss the most: The Rat Game
I did not get a minor in camping in college just to impress the ladies. No, I'm a big fan of summer camps and the impact on youth that they can have. And in my years of working at camps on three different continents, I have worked with some pretty amazing people. Although I have to admit, many of them are also slightly crazy.
Take for example this summer. After snack time there remained a large bowl full of liquid waste. It contained ramen, Oreo cereal, fruit loops, and various sodas that the young campers could not finish. Someone suggested that one of the staff stick their head in it for some cash. Before we knew it, a joke was becoming a reality.
Now you the home viewer can enjoy this brief moment in my summer, thanks to Google Video and Sweatshop.
The other week I asked the age of a coworker's child. I got some response like, "twelve months," which I said isn't that a year? Being the insensitive child disliking person that I am, I pondered when do people stop counting in months for a kid's age, and switch to the years. After further thought it dawned on me that on August 24, I would turn four hundred months. To me, that is freakin' cool. Don't know if I am going to switch over to referring to my age in months, but at least for this next month I will.
Speaking of time... I am ever amazed at the timing that happens in my life. Some call it coincidence, dumb luck, kismet, or a fluke. For me I think it is additional proof of a God that is in control of the universe, even the minuscule details.
Today's timing experience: I had met up with a friend for lunch and a trip to my favorite coffee shop. Afterwards we headed over to Costco, as I needed to pick up some bagels for my student's evening snack. Upon exiting the store, I jumped into a cab to head back to school. In the cab, I was selfishly thinking about how I was going to have to pay for a cab ride across town, even though the bagels were for the dorm. Not soon after that thought crossed my mind, we were at a red light. I looked out my window and noticed a large yellow and black bus next to me. No, Stryper wasn't in town, but it was one of our school's buses and at the wheel one of the coolest bus drivers I know. I quickly made some random hand gestures to try to see if we were both going back to campus. Seconds later, I'm handing over some money to the taxi driver, jumping out of the car with my box of snacks, and jumping into a bus. All this while wondering if the light was going to change in the process leaving me standing in the middle of traffic with bagels. But it all worked out, and I enjoyed a ride in style across town in my own private school bus. To me, that is some pretty sweet timing.
Now and then, I get emails from Amazon recommending various products. I had to laugh when while on my trip across Russia this was in the email from Amazon.
Now it was nice they recommended a guide to travel the rails of Siberia. But how very thoughtful Amazon is to recommend that I have some fresh fruit for the journey. They did not want a faithful customer to succumb to scurvy. Thank you Amazon.
Speaking of adventures, I'm already scouring the web for ideas for next summer. We joked on the trip that next summer we would journey to Hollow Earth to check out the monorail system. But I had such a great time in Mongolia, that when I came across the Mongol Rally, I began to salivate. That could also be a reaction from the smell of pistachios in my apartment.
But the big question is who wants to go for a rickshaw ride this Christmas? I have already been in one rickshaw chase in India, so why not another? Maybe it was really late when I found that page, but it has made it into my top considerations for Christmas break. So who is in?
I want to go on record that I had nothing to do with this report. When I left the Egyptian spice market today I left several kilos behind. I also left several bags on the shelves at Carrefour too. And I am pretty sure there were some left at that other store too. But what I am saying is that there were a few pistachios left today here in Turkey. The rest are in my carry on luggage.
This goes out to my great Istanbul guide Your phone number I lost I must confide Several times to find it I have anxiously tried I have searched my back pack on the inside At one point I almost sat down and cried. (Well not really, in that last line I just lied.) I have a ticket for a trans-Turkey bus ride. At ten a.m. it will arrive, if it does not collide Then to Carrefour by the ferries I did decide Where around eleven we can meet outside. Then I will buy the pistachios that they provide Perhaps buying until my credit card is denied.
This last week has been odd. I've done a lot of things that were so familiar to me, but yet distant as well. Swimming in the Rhine, dining at the Isle of Innisfree, listening to Klonakilty, driving on the autobahn with Radio Regenbogen cranked up, attending the Anglican Church of Basel, having lunch with a gal I had lunch with years ago, waiting for my spaghetti ice, and standing on the balcony in my old apartment were just a few of the things that took me back. A few times as I was driving around I began to wonder if the last two years were just a dream. Everything this week felt so normal, even when speaking my broken German. It really messed with my mind at times, as it did feel like I had just woken up from a long nap with the strangest dream. A dream about living in a country where I didn't know the language, let along the characters they use to make that language up. A dream with strange, interesting, and exciting characters.
But I am pretty sure that my time in Korea, my travels, my experiences, and the friends I have made along the way are real. At least I sure hope so. And if it turns out to be just a dream, it was a dang fine dream as it had some pretty interesting and complex story lines compared to the rest of my dreams.
Then again, I'm now feeling like the last week was just a dream. Either way, I am off to Turkey for a week. And in doing so, say farewell to a country that loves the Hoff. So if I don't see you soon, perhaps we will meet in my dreams...
Yesterday, we arrived at the orphanage to the cheering of about one hundred and forty kids. These kids appear to be some of the happiest kids I've seen, which is saying a lot for their circumstances. Last night Mike and I joined in the pre-dinner singing time. We listened as they sang song after song of praise from memory. Then they quoted Pslam 110 from memory. Then more singing... These kids really appear to love Jesus. Even wile swinging today, two of the kids were singing various songs of worship. So this is what the faith of a little child looks like...
So yesterday, I was swinging on the swing when this cute little girl wanted to sit on my lap and swing with me. I picked her up, and begun to swing for a little bit. Slowly, I began to notice that my leg was feeling damp. Not knowing what to do, I kept swinging. Figured it was too late already. Then one of the local missionaries stopped to take a photo, so I had to continue to smile and pretend all was well. Needless to say, I soon changed my shirt (as it was also soiled), yet left the jeans on the rest of the day.
Today I was in need of some excitement, and I excitement was provided. When a coworker inquired to activity this afternoon, I declared we needed to have a random adventure. We conned another friend to join us. It was decided that we would grab the first bus and get off at the sixteenth stop the bus made. Once on foot, we flipped a coin to determine which direction to head. All of this was to help search for food, while providing for a break from the regular trips to the same old places. After about eight flips of the coin, we declared it time to eat. We ended up having sweet meal in the most unrestaurant looking place. It looked more like someone's home, both inside and out.
After eating, we started walking towards Carrefour. At the corner we passed by one of the new entrances to the Daejeon Subway. As many of you might know, I'm quite excited about this soon to be opened subway system. I've been anxiously awaiting my first ride under this fine city. Well, the excitement couldn't control the urge to go down to look around, especially as the security gates that usually block the entrance were open.
Craig agreed to stay above ground as the look-out, as Chris and I descended down the well lit entry way. In stealth like fashion, we made it down one flight of stairs, then another. As we looked around this area, Craig suddenly appeared. (This proves Craig stinks as look out!) We started down the final staircase leading to the ticket windows, but midway down noticed three workers in said ticket area. So we quickly returned to the next level.
At this point, Chris decided to become the first panhandler in the subway.
Shortly after this photo, we started our ascent to the surface. One of us, noticed that the escalator was one of those fancy ones that only operate when one approaches it. As he wanted to be one of the first whities to ride the escalator, he moved towards it. While the escalator did start up, it was accompanied by a loud announcement that echoed throughout the empty cavern. Not knowing enough Korean to understand what was being said, and fearing the worst, our ascent to the surface was quickened. As we neared the surface, we made what could be considered a safety stop in a non-diving sense. We slowed our pace as to not cause any attention, at least no more attention that three white boys coming out of a unopened subway would warrant. Then we casually walked away from the subway opening and off across the park, laughing about what had just occurred.
Fifteen minutes later we passed the intersection that is above the section of subway we were in. The cab driver pointed out that the power was out to the traffic lights. Coincidence, perhaps?
Post number two in the "Stuck in Seoul" Series was suggested by Chris, a coworker and dive buddy of mine. He gave me a couple ideas, which might appear later in this short lived series, but for now the topic is MySpace. For those not in the know, MySpace is an online social networking thingy. According to the website, it is a place where you can "meet your friends' friends" To tell you the truth, if someone is my friend, I seriously question their taste in friends.
The funny thing about Myspace is that each person's site lists their "friends," but are they really friends? If this were so, Neil Diamond, Danny Elfman, and Chair would be my friends, as they are listed in my friends list. But last time I checked, I never had a conversation with any of them.
In fact, a couple days ago, I created a Myspace for an inatimate object. Initally, I asked eight or so other inatimate objects to be my friends. Now I have over 58 friends, and over half of them are real people. Come on people, you are asking an inatimate object to be your friend! What has our society become?
I need to get back to thinking of a new topic for my next lame post... Until then I leave you with two videos about Myspace. The first is about "The Angles." The second is a piece from the Daily Show on the whole social networking craze.
I'm in Seoul right now, as I missed the last train home. Luckily this country has what is called PC Bangs, which are places where you can use computers all night long. And when the option of hanging here or getting a hotel room was done, the cost of this won. So I will surf the web for the next few hours. I'll also be chatting with some friends. In the first little bit of my chatting, I decided I'd post a new post here every hour or so while I wait. This to give me something to do while I fight off the sleep or the desire to play hearts online. If you have any ideas of a post, please message me. I think the links to my message login are to the left.
Many of you know that I have a pretty strong anti-fast food policy when it comes to dining. Well, I'm adding another reason to the list of why I refuse to take my chances in the shadows of the Golden Arches.
In other odd news relating to disease, soon there will be a new way to fight the avian flu.... Kimchi Konditioners (I made up that name - so if it catches on, please give proper credit). Yes my friends, you can battle the heat and avian flu with one electrical device. It doesn't say it in the article, but rumor has it they are working on a sauerkraut version that will be marketed in Germany and other parts of Europe.
What has become of me? I've spent this morning cleaning my apartment. Don't get me wrong, it needed it. But I could have spent the day skiing in Korea with some of the students and staff. Sure I've read stories about Korean skiing which state they ski like they drive. And I assumed if the only bowling shoes I can rent in this country are two sizes too small, I would have no luck with ski boots. Or maybe it is that I'm spoiled, spending many days on the mountains of Switzerland. But as I was cleaning my tub, a voice in my head asked what in the world has happened to me. That voice told me that the high school version of Ryan, who thought skiing in Iowa was cool, would gladly kick the tub cleaning version of Ryan's gluteus maximus.
I'm reminded of the scene in The Kid where Rusty asks his older version of himself, "So ... I'm 40, I'm not married, I don't fly jets and I don't have a dog? I grow up to be a loser!"
As I guy, I can admit that we do some pretty stupid things in the name of love or attempting to gain the attention of a member of the opposite gender. It is a fact that I've walked my dog way out our neighborhood in order to "just happen to pass by" a girls house. I can say that I've also tried snowboarding, began listening to country music, practiced slight of hand magic tricks, and even relearned to dirve stick shift to impress or not look stupid in the eyes of various girls I've been interested in. A few years back a couple of my students made a multi-country bike ride just to ask a girl out. But none of those compare to this poor pathetic love sick boy. What lesson can we learn from this poor guy? I would say we could learn not to be an idiot when it comes to the area of the heart, but I think the only thing we really can learn is to have a comfortable shoes when hitchhiking, and possibly to phone first.
(for those too busy to click the link - a 15 year old hitchhiked 1250 miles to find out he has been dumped)
Currently listening to: Duncan Sheik - Daylight (currently on my online radio station - check it out.)
So I went to Walmart the other day. (Yes, they have them here in Germany.) While there I saw a sight that I thought was only common in American stores. The weasels who take more than the allotted number of items in the express line. Here it was six items or less, and I saw people with ten, twelve, and even more items in line. Now I know some people fuzz the line claiming that multiple quantities of an item, only counts as one item, but this I think is clearly against all that is understood by the phrase, "x items or less." I can't walk up with 500 Snickers bars, because that is more than the six, ten or twenty as is common in most store express lanes.
So what do you do about it. I think stores should be able to charge double for every item above the limit. It would be a stupidity charge. The store employee would just have to say, hey stupid, you have more items than the sign above you says, so you are going to be charged for being stupid. You could also replace the word stupid for rude or lazy, as that is sometimes the case. I think it would work, the express lanes would go back to what they were intended for, or the stores would make a higher profit, either way someone is happy. Plus I wouldn't get as frustrated with the idiot with sneaking ten extra items through, knowing he was going to pay way too much for his bag of Doritos.
Currently listening to: Sarah Mason - Her first album.
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